


Puns & Rendezvous

by Moira_chan



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: 30 Dates Challenge, F/M, Fluff, I'll add more tags in the future I guess, One Shot Collection, Post-Pacifist Route, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 18:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6126772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moira_chan/pseuds/Moira_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>1. First Date<br/>You can’t possibly eat with your hands when you’re having dinner with a queen, even if she’s no longer reigning, can you...?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Puns & Rendezvous

**Author's Note:**

> For some reason, I've decided to try and write short Soriel drabbles/one-shots inspired by the list of prompts available on the 30 dates community on LJ. Here's the first one... It's kinda silly, but I hope you'll like it anyway?

Sans isn’t used to having dinner with anyone other than Papyrus.  
Hell, he isn’t even used to having dinner with Papyrus to begin with, since most of the time he eats at hours his brother calls “irrational” – and that’s when he even eats at all in the evening, instead of replacing every meal in the day with random snacking and going to sleep as early as he can.

Therefore, having dinner alone with Tori feels... weird.  
Sitting on a chair by the table in her and Frisk’s living room, he glances at the open kitchen door and sees her busying herself next to the oven, apparently taking something out of it. Yup, definitely feels weird. Actually, when she offered to invite him over for dinner, a few days ago, it was decided they would eat with his bro and the kid as well – but he kinda forgot to remember that today was the day of Papyrus’s cooking lesson, meaning he’d have dinner with Undyne at her place, and Frisk... Well, Tori said they had been invited over at a friend’s, and since they _really_ wanted to go (and Tori is just too much of a doting mother, probably), she couldn’t say no. That’s how they ended up here.

And now she’s coming out of the kitchen with what seems to be a _giant_ quiche and he’s feeling really uncomfortable. Not because of the quiche (although the size of it is kind of intimidating and he doubts the two of them will be able to eat it all) – but because it’s really not often that he eats with someone (as in, someone that isn’t his brother), and it’s even less often that he does that _without_ Papyrus by his side, and it’s just that... he’s got to behave. Eat correctly. Try not to spill any ketchup on the tablecloth. Wait, scratch that, maybe he shouldn’t even put ketchup on a quiche to begin with... should he? He has no idea, but for some reason, he feels like he probably shouldn’t.  
A quick glance down at the table informs him there’s no ketchup on there, anyway, so no, he definitely will _not_ put any ketchup on the quiche.

... Just how long has it been since he last ate something _without_ ketchup on it, exactly?  
Ugh. He even puts some on his brother’s spaghetti when he isn’t looking, so...  
Does he even like stuff that doesn’t have ketchup on it?  
Wait. No. He means, Tori baked this quiche, so it’s going to taste amazing, definitely – even without ketchup. The lady’s so skilled at cooking, after all – he’s never tasted the stuff she makes himself, but Frisk seems to love it, and there’s no way it’ll be like his brother’s pasta, anyway (although Papyrus keeps improving... more or less). He’ll like it, he’s certain about it. The only problem is...

Before he’s had the time to even think about offering to help her, Tori’s leaning over the table, carefully cutting a slice from the quiche. She then slowly lays it into a nicely decorated plate that she hands Sans before serving herself as well, and a few minutes later they’re sitting in front of each other, each one of them on one side of the table, with the steaming hot quiche in between them.

“Well, Sans, I hope that it fits your tastes,” Tori says as she unfolds her pearl white napkin and gracefully places it on her lap. Her lips curve into a smile. “Now, let me just wish you a... _Bone_ appétit!”

Her pun instantly makes the skeleton feels a tad bit better about this whole dinner thing. As usual, the way she laughs is... heavenly. For a moment, he’s lost in the joke they just shared and everything is fine – until Tori grabs her fork and knife and starts cutting a small, bite-sized part of her slice of quiche, which she eats effortlessly-  
Suddenly, it’s starting to get really awkward. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) Sans forgets about this completely, mostly because he met her through the door to the Ruins and she’s been his favorite pun buddy as well as his best friend ever since, but Tori used to be a queen – and right now, it’s showing. She’s really got the, huh, _everything_. The manners. The attitude. The grace.

As for Sans, he’s... wondering if he still knows how to properly hold a fork.

After a while and a slightly questioning (but not at all judgmental, thankfully) look from Tori, the answer is: he doesn’t.  
He’s not even sure he’s ever known, to be honest. He and Papyrus grew up on their own, after all; for as long as he can remember, at least, they’ve never had anyone teaching them how to do stuff like that. Papyrus probably learnt from watching Undyne and tried to teach him at some point, but since he never eats anything other than burgers or fries at Grillby’s, the hotdogs he makes or the chips he hides under his bed, he’s... probably _very_ out of practice. But you can’t possibly eat with your hands when you’re having dinner with a queen, even if she’s no longer reigning, can you...?

“Sans? Is everything okay?”

Tori’s voice startles him and he realizes he’s been staring into space. He glances at her; she seems anxious, and to be honest, he hates seeing that look on her face, so he’s quick to grin again.

“Huh, yeah,” he lies, although it instantly makes his non-existent stomach twist a bit.  
“Oh, if you say so, then... Since you were not eating, I was a little afraid you did not enjoy the food. But I guess I just worry too much!”

She giggles. It’s a cute sound. And Sans feels even worse.  
As the former queen focuses back on her plate, he glares at his fork and knife. Well... looks like he’s got no other choice.  
He takes a deep breath (don’t ask him with which lungs, he has no idea), grabs his fork in his left hand, and sticks it into the slice of quiche. Now all he has to do is try and remember how to use the knife and- huh- wasn’t he supposed to hold the knife in his left hand... He quickly glances at Tori; she’s got the knife in her right hand, but for some reason it just doesn’t feel _right_ to him (pun only half-intended). To be honest, he’s pretty sure he’s always held the knife in his left hand...?  
His fears are further confirmed when a clumsy movement of his right hand sends some of the filling of the quiche flying away from his plate. _On the tablecloth_.

Time seems to stop; and when it starts passing again, Sans can _feel_ Tori’s concerned glance on him.

“Heh... Okay, so, this is going _tibia_ awkward,” he tries, embarrassedly scratching the back of his skull, “but-“

A loud fit of laughter interrupts him, however.  
For a second, he’s frozen and doesn’t dare look up at Tori in fear that she might actually be mocking him and his terrible table manners; until he realizes this isn’t a mocking laughter. At all. Actually, it’s exactly the kind of laughter she bursts into every time he makes a pun, and- Wait. Is she really laughing at his pun? Right now? He glances up at her and- damn. She is. What a lady.  
He can’t help a huge grin from spreading across his face – he feels relieved, all of a sudden. Of all pun-loving former queens in the world, he’s so, _so_ happy that Tori’s the one he got to become friends with.

“Oh, Sans,” she finally utters, still trying to control her laughter, all the while wiping a tear away from her eye. “Please do not make puns while I am eating, or I will choke on my food and start _coffin_ to death.”

Oh, man.  
He’s smiling like a madman, now, but he barely cares.

“Heh, good one, Tori. I know it sounds cheesy, but... you’re really _grate_.”

And here she goes again, laughing like it’s the best pun she’s heard in ages, even though she seems to love it just as much as she did the previous one not even a minute ago; but Sans doesn’t mind. He really doesn’t. He loves the sound of her laughter, anyway – and this way, at least, she can’t realize just how much he’s failing at using his fork and knife like a normal monster.

After a while, she calms down and starts eating again. In the meantime, Sans switched utensils; he’s now holding his fork in his right hand, his knife in the left one, and luckily the whole eating thing is going a lot better this way. In the end, he manages to eat two whole slices of the quiche, which by the way tastes just as amazing as he expected-  
As he’s helping her clear the table, a while later, though, Tori tells him he should eat with his hands next time if he’s more comfortable this way – and he doesn’t know whether to feel sorry for having embarrassed himself in front of a former queen, or just really happy that she wants there to be a ‘next time’.


End file.
